NEWS...a sacred stopping...soulbbatical awaits

final breathwork class

Hey there,

I come to you with my heart on both sleeves and an update. A big one.

I’ve chosen to take a sabbatical, which is feeling more like a soulbbatical.

After a decade of teaching and navigating small business, the body has spoken and the message is clear, ‘tina, your ten year long-service-leave is here.’

There is grief for sure, but there’s also relief. A power that’s placed me precisely where I need to be.

My world recently, well what can I say, like everyone, my human is doing the best she can. The past six months have consisted of many extreme highlights AND too much reckoning. A resurfacing of chronic neuralgia pain, spiritual awakenings, jaw tension, a pulling at the heartstrings, an obsession with wide open spaces, staring death in the face, and a knowing that there’s something else.

These are all signs, not symptoms.

It would be easy to blame it on menopause or the moon, but I’ll resist the temptation.

My soul has simply banged on my human’s door and said…. ‘it’s time girl, will you listen?’

Previously when this happened a decade ago, I left a well paid career and a whole lot of illusions.

It left me questioning;

Who am I ?

To relinquish your former identity is to sacrifice the story you have been living, the one that defined you, empowered you socially, and limited you.

The labels we give ourselves – or that others place on us – are limiting. And as we get older, questioning those limitations become even more important, because as long as you believe you’re a separate self, you have no choice but to merely survive and you’ll exist in fear as your dominant state.

What if the things I believe about myself aren't true?

This transition decision has reached a point where I must take a giant leap into the unknown, away from so much of what has formed my foundation, my identity, my sense of worth for the past decade. I am holding on to this old version for dear life and can’t fully embrace what’s next until I let go with both hands. To be liberated, from the stress that comes with attachment and to listen to the quiet inner voice to create space.

This year of the snake was always going to be transformative; I just didn’t realise in what way.

Many people (especially women) believe they need to be crawling on their hands and knees, or completely burnt out before taking any sort of extended leave. This comes at a huge cost to your health which I’m not prepared to sacrifice this time.

My inner critic, in all its existential anxiety, has been a predictable arsehole;

• You’ll become irrelevant

• You should be able to just keep going

• You’ll disappoint everyone

• You will fall behind

• This is a huge mistake

But it’s never a backwards step when you’re stepping fully into yourself.

The biggest enemy of the ego is stopping, or death, because the ego arises out of the craving to survive, which means it will attempt to control and keep everything moving in the same direction.

“In stopping, we intuit that the busy, fretful part of us on the surface that we've called our ‘self’ is to stop too – in effect, it’s going to die, therefore we are going to die, which is why it's so disturbing – the game is up.”

• David Whyte

Life unfolds in strange and unpredictable ways, despite the best laid plans. There’s so much out of our control which also led to cancelling my retreats this year. Gut wrenching.

Africa was already under my skin.

We had worked so hard to get there and were hours away from securing flights, and then it was all gone. Poof —a dream crushed.

I could feel the "poor me" mindset creeping in, pulling at my spirit, tempting me to sink into the weight of it all. I allowed myself to feel the stinking shame, anger, and sadness.

I don’t get it, the visions have been so visceral??

Then, the universe winked.

“Of course you’re still going. You are not cancelled.”

Another soul sister walking with me in what is now an open invitation to honour the journey. Following the primal urge into the wild. The wild things knowing how to stop without guilt.

The gift in it all is that Soul Wander will also get to have its winter season after seven incredible years of creating, launching, filling, guiding, nurturing and building retreats. A pause for this field to rest and reimagine how it will reemerge.

To claim and live your life fully is not a selfish act. It’s an essential rite of passage with the potential to manifest beauty in our world. To honour our quests, overcome fear and demand personal space and respect.

The word ‘sabat’, meaning rest, has biblical origins in the Hebrew tradition. According to Leviticus, Jews in the Land of Israel must take a year-long sabbatical break from working the fields every seven years.

Your Soulbbatical transcends traditional rules and doesn’t have to be a year, it may just be a weekend, you’ll know.

You will likely need some time and space to figure out what this surrendered alignment and authentic success feels like and looks like for you.

Following your intuition is something I’ve shared here a lot. Looking back at my blogging archives from 2015, I can see I’ve been doing much of that evolving here with you, through storytelling.

I owe us all a final chapter.

So I’ll leave you with this;

You don’t need to ‘earn’ your soulbbatical or wait ten years. There’s no amount of tap dancing or struggle required that will prove you’re finally enough.

I imagine I’ll come back to substack, but can’t say exactly when.

Until next time, enjoy your shedding and take extremely good care of yourself.

Thanks for being here. Be free.

I love you,

T x

PS. My last breathwork class for this year is next Tuesday the 6th of May, 9:30am at YogaLyfe in Middle Park.

We might be processing this one for a while bit there’ll be a big gift in it for you and a massive surge of gratitude and love. Book your place here .

PPS. For my 1:1 clients, we have until the end of May to fulfil existing bookings for 2025 :)